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Monday, January 30, 2006

Something New

A young black professional woman is searching for her ideal black man, but finds “something new” in an inter-racial relationship. This is a smartly written romantic comedy about an uptight ultra-conservative senior manager striving to make partner at her accounting firm as well as to find her own partner in her personal life. Along the way, she discovers love and who she really is.

Alien gives it 3 “love is an adventure” stars out of 4.


Thursday, January 26, 2006

Bambi II

Alien sent many junior critics-in-training to scope out this "midquel" from Disney due to release to video in February. Alien awaits their reports on this sneak preview.

Trekkie fans undoubtedly will recognize the voice of Bambi's dad to be that of Jean Luc Picard. Alien expects the audience will visit parts of the forest where no deer have gone before.

Report #1:

Parent thought it was cute. The kids had a great time and laughed. Considering buying the DVD when it releases. 3 stars out of 4.

Report #2:

It is a cute film. The grand child loved it. 2 ½ stars out of 4.

Report #3:

The movie was very cute. The kids in the audience were laughing 75% of the time. It was short, but just the right length for the target audience's attention span. 3 ½ stars out of 4.

Report #4

The movie was good. The kids giggled throughout. Would buy the DVD. 3 ½ stars out of 4.

Big Momma’s House 2

It’s “Miss Congeniality” meets “Mrs. Doubtfire” meets “The Pacifier” in the O.C. with shades of “10”, “Shallow Hal”, and “Bring It On”. “Bad Boy” Martin Lawrence is back as “Big Momma”. An FBI agent goes undercover as a nanny in order to stakeout the bad guys, but he becomes connected to the family, which includes the usual absent parents, rebellious teen, cute little kids and dog. In the end, we learn that family is the most important thing. It’s funny, but not hilarious. Still, the two annoyingly loud characters sitting behind Alien were laughing their heads off.

Alien gives it 2 “tons of fun” stars out of 4.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Annapolis

It’s “Flashdance”/”Rocky” joins the Navy to play “G.I. Jane”. What starts out as a misfit trying to make it at the Naval Academy movie soon turns into a boxing film about battling for the Brigade tournament championship. It is all very predictable as the audience learns about Mississippi/Arkansas, second chances, and what men are made of. Hint: the credits indicate this movie was filmed in Philadelphia.

Alien gives it 2 “midshipmen” stars out of 4.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Underworld: Evolution

Director Len Wiseman brings back his favorite actress (and wife), Kate Beckinsale, in a sequel to the 2003 “Underworld”. Picking up right where the original ended, vampires, werewolves (called lycans here), and a hybrid fight for control of the world. Don’t worry about having to use your “blood memory” here because there is very little plot as a Rambo/Vampira clad in a skin-tight black latex suit teams up with a mini-Hulk bat/wolf hybrid to battle blood-thirsty twins in the darkness of the night. Expect buckets of blood, barrages of bullets, and bare Beckinsale in the background of blackness. Like vampires, this film has no soul.

Alien gives it only 2 “ooh kills” stars out of 4.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World

Alien takes the night off for a birthday girl and a sick child, but sends the appropriate junior critics to check out this preview movie.

In the film, the United States government sends Albert Brooks to India and Pakistan to find out what makes people there laugh.

My reviewers had a good time and gave it 2 ½ stars out of 4.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Hoodwinked

This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.

“Hoodwinked” is the classic fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood,but retold as if it was an old detective mystery. One by one, each suspect is interrogated and reveals their side of the story until the mystery is solved. Alien thought this animated movie was only mildly amusing and some parts were even boring. The cleverest idea in this film was the title, “Hoodwinked”.

Alien gives it 2 “dumb for adults to enjoy” stars out of 4.

The New World

“The New World” is America, specifically Virginia in 1607. It is the story of Pocahontas, exploration, discovery, and new beginnings. It is also the love story. The new settlers struggle to survive their first winter in Jamestown. The natives come to their rescue, but then grow weary of their visitors and want them to leave. Alien liked the historic look at people and their lives in the new world and in the old world. Alien didn’t like the transitions between scenes which were hampered by abrupt editing cuts and poor musical selections. The lengthy narratives made the already 2 ½ hour movie feel even longer.

Alien gives it 2 “quest for new territory” stars out of 4.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Of course, this is not a sneak preview, but Alien hasn’t had the time to work this movie sequel into his schedule.

If you haven’t seen or heard of the 3 previous Harry Potter films, you are hopeless and need not read any further. But for those who are still waiting to see “Goblet of Fire” and Alien knows there is at least one of you out there, it’s Harry and gang back at Hogwarts experiencing puberty, the big school dance, and the wizards’ equivalent to the Olympic Games. The kids are growing older and the stories are growing darker. Alien and the rest of the planet can hardly wait for chapter 5, but “Goblet of Fire” is becoming an IMAX experience later this week.

Alien gives it 3 ½ “magic spells and contests” stars out of 4.

Hostel

This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.

Hostel or hostile? It’s “Eurotrip” meets “Saw” in this latest horror flick that will keep visitors away from Europe. It starts out as a young man’s fantasy of booze, drugs, and hot naked girls, but soon turns into a nightmare of torture and cruelty. If you like to be scared and terrified, this one may be for you.

Alien gives it 2 “if it seems too good to be true” stars out of 4.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Last Holiday

While Alien was taken a journey down "Glory Road", one of my junior critics-in-training sent me this scouting report:

Here is my review of “Last Holiday”: With an ensemble cast of Queen Latifah, LL Cool-J, Tim Hutton and Juan Carlos Esposito. Queen Latifah who plays a young lady named Georgia who lives in Louisiana and is given news that she only has three weeks to live. After getting over her initial emotion about here fate, Georgia decides to make here last days on earth full of fun and excitement. Georgia is a very reserve church going woman that loves to cook but then gives these gourmet meals to a little boy that lives next door. Cooking is a passion of Georgia’s and much of the movie is tastefully themed around food. Georgia can never quite get up the courage to pursue her fleeting love interest that is played by LL Cool-J. The movie takes place in the snow covered mountains of Prague in one very ritzy hotel where a world famous chef works. The movie start a little slow but picks up momentum. Queen Latifah is able to keep her audience interested in the movie and there were some funny scenes. Though I thought her movie “Bringing down the House” was funnier. Considering this was a comedy, it actually made some good points about life that all people should think about regardless of race. “Are you doing the things in life that make you happy”, “Don’t be afraid to take chances” and “Living life to the fullest”, all of these topics are presented in a very warm and inspiring way. So how did I feel when I left the movie? I would have to say I was very motivated and inspired to live my dreams regardless of what people think. All and all I would give this movie “3-Stars” out of 4. The “Last Holiday” was movie that all could enjoy and understand. I don’t think this was Queen Latifah's best work but it was very entertaining.

Glory Road

It’s “Friday Night Lights” meet “Coach Carter” meets “Miracle”. It’s a significant piece of sports and racial history. It’s 1966, El Paso, Texas and the NCAA Basketball Tournament. It’s an underdog story, a fish-out-of-water story, and an inspirational story. A small mining college in a dusty border town hires a high school girls basketball coach who shakes up the nation with the team he builds during the time when many schools were still segregated. The coach and the kids are wonderfully portrayed. It’s based on a true story that has been Disneyfied, but it is still lots of fun and great entertainment. It’s the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. See how the world has changed in 40 years. Be sure to stay through the credits to hear the words of wisdom from members of the real Texas Western Miners.

Alien gives it 3 ½ “slam dunk” stars out of 4.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Rumor Has It

This is not a sneak preview. This movie has already released.

What if the Dustin Hoffman/Anne Bancroft film “The Graduate” was based on a real family. Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Costner, and Shirley MacLaine star in this movie about finding love. Unfortunately, if you seen the movie trailer, you know the whole story and seen all of the best parts. The movie seems rather flat, lacking chemistry between the actors, and not that funny.

Alien gives it 2 “seduction” stars out of 4.

Grandma’s Boy

It’s “Beauty and the Geek” meets “The Golden Girls” as video game testers work to debug and perfect their upcoming release by deadline. It is advertised as containing “sex, drugs, nakedness, rude language, and proud of it”. And that is all true, but it is also a guilty pleasure and is hilariously funny.

Alien gives it 2 ½ “geeky, dweeby, and nerdy” stars out of 4.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Brokeback Mountain

Director Ang Lee skillfully crafts a powerful love story between two unlikely people giving a different meaning to the term, lonesome cowboy. Two young men meet while herding sheep on Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming during the summer of 1963 and develop a life-long friendship and connection. They go their separate ways, get married, and raise kids, but continue to meet for fishing trips over the next 20 years. It is a sad tale of tortured souls, clandestine meetings, and forbidden love. Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Michelle Williams give outstanding performances. Ang Lee paints a beautiful and bleak picture using climate and the Wyoming countryside to set the mood of the film as the confused cowboys struggle with their feelings for each other in a time and place that would have no acceptance for their bond.

Alien gives it 3 “guilt, anger, and love” stars out of 4.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Casanova

It’s “Pride and Prejudice” in Venice meets “Catch Me If You Can” meets “Wedding Crashers” meets “Pirates of the Caribbean” in this romantic comedy about the legendary lover, Casanova (Heath Ledger), who meets his match when his latest love interest, Francesca (Sienna Miller), resists his charm. It is good light-hearted fun with beautiful costumes, sets, and people. What could be a more romantic setting than Venice and gondolas. Rated "R" for sexual content.

Alien gives it 3 “masked Carnivale fun” stars out of 4.

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